Monday, February 27, 2012

men, women, and humor

While it is no surprise to most
people that men and women are different from each other in a number of vitally
important ways, the differences in how men and women view and express humor are
not always well understood. Just as there are societal expectations about
numerous other gender differences, there are also subtle variations in how men
and women participate in humor.
One key difference: men have more
permission to be funny than women have. Society expects men to perform. Being
funny and clever is one type of performance. However, men also tend to laugh
less, perhaps because male socialization teaches them that they must always be
in control. According to Susan Horowitz in
Queens of Comedy, “The most resistant audiences—for both male and female
comics—are male, mainly because they equate laughter with losing control.”
On the other hand, women have more
permission (perhaps even pressure) to laugh. It makes them a better audience.
Horowitz quotes comic Jerry Seinfeld, “They’re more open. I’ve always felt an
audience dominated by women is great for me because they don’t have any
withholds on getting silly and doing things for fun. A woman’s sense of humor
is much more free, open and loving—it doesn’t have to make sense. If it’s fun,
great.”
Indeed, women, even while they have
been socialized to contain their own sense of humor, are led to believe they
should laugh even if they don’t think something is funny. They’re told it’s
good to laugh at men’s jokes, good to show a lighter side and support men’s
humor. And that may not be all bad. Dr. Madan Kataria, founder of the Laughter
Club movement and author of Laughter for
No Reason, states that even inauthentic or fake laughing delivers the same
health benefits as the real deal. This may be one reason women live longer than
men.

In Honey Hush, Daryl Cumber Dance describes how “proper ladies” are
supposed to laugh. “Hold your hand over your mouth . . . hold it straight and a
little to the side, like you’re going to whisper something to someone next to
you.” Now women seem to be reclaiming their authenticity, consciously choosing
when they will laugh and how. Perhaps that’s one reason feminists are accused
of not having a sense of humor.

A man asked the reference librarian where he could find the
book, The Male: The Superior Sex.
Immediately the librarian responded, “Oh, that would be over in fiction.”

A couple of weeks ago a comedian complained to me it isn’t
fair that women can tell jokes about men and get away with it, but men can’t
tell jokes about women without being criticized. I wanted to tell him about the
various theories on laughter as a weapon of the underdog—but it had too many
words and no pictures. I told him that if all males would relinquish their
power, eradicate rape from the face of the earth and give women twice as much
money as men for the same job, then he could tell as many jokes about women as
he wanted. Until then, tough luck.
From Mary Hirsh, “ Heard Any Good Jokes Lately?” Minnesota Women’s Press

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